Mayhem Literary Journal is generously sponsored for 2019 by Te Whare Wananga o Waikato, The University of Waikato
issue 5

october 2017

issue 5 - october 2017

I am not my diagnosis - Rebecca Tegan

I am not my diagnosis
My diagnosis is Bipolar Disorder, type 1, rapid cycling
Bipolar is an elusive cat and a blue cocaine caterpillar
I want out of Wonderland

My diagnosis is bipolar disorder, type 1, rapid cycling
The attempted suicide rate for bipolar is 60%
Symptoms include grand delusions
Bipolar is an elusive cat and a blue cocaine caterpillar

The suicide rate for bipolar is 60%
The pills come with the label Eat Me
To survive I need the red queen hypothesis
Symptoms include sexual indiscretions

The medication comes with the label Eat Me
I make my mother cry
Lithium is eating yellow paint
To survive I need the red queen hypothesis

I make my mother cry
The hatter knocks, won’t you come play with me?
The doctors took thirty years to find me
Lithium is eating yellow paint

The hatter knocks, won’t you come play with me?
Sip poison from laced filigree china
I am not my diagnosis
The doctors took thirty years to find me

Sip poison from laced filigree china
Nibble exotic pills for afternoon tea
My body a voodoo doll, self-inflicted pink pricks
I am not my diagnosis

Contributor's Note

Rebecca Tegan likes sunsets and long walks on the beach with hand bag sized dogs. She enjoys a glass of Syrah, preferably bought out of her price range, and equality. She is a professional amateur interpretive dancer, practices regularly, and pretends she can sing like Mariah Carey circa 1996. Her preoccupation with living in the moment often leads to unfinished tasks and comfortably lives with the knowledge she has no idea what she wants to do when she grows up. She hates wasabi.

 

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